The hardest category to be put in is the "old maid" category. It comes with the territory of being LDS. The world revolves around marriage, it's extremely important. Young adults think about it, talk about it, read about it, are preached to about it, almost like it's an advanced dance move that you need to learn, and if you don't have rhythm and can't do it - then you're screwed.
At a family reunion last month someone told me that I would "gain so much through this trial that I'm going through, and that later I'll be able to help others who are going through the same thing." Ok. But why is being a single a trial? Am I being punished for something? Yes, being single isn't ideal and it can be hard, but being married is even harder. Also, when someone tells me that being single is a huge trial to go through, it makes me believe it. Then I start to feel sorry for myself, and that is the opposite of what I want.
Another family member recently (in a loving way) has been comparing me to albeit great, but old Mormon maids - Mary Ellen Edmunds, Kristen McCain Oaks, and Barbara Thompson. These are amazing women! But why, am I (a 23 year old girl) being compared with 50-60 year old women? How are we the same? Does having graduated single make me suddenly incapable of marriage? I should just scratch it off my list of things to do, and focus on my career and how many missions I'm going to go on. Stop trying to shove me into a category! I'm not an old maid! I'm 23!
I know I shouldn't worry - but I'm a human. A young, single, LDS human with problems (obviously). And there isn't really a purpose in writing these things down, except to say that it bothers me.
*also - please don't leave a comment saying not to worry because I am great and someday I will get married. Because I already know that. I'm not complaining about being single. But you can leave a comment saying that I'm great :)*
10 comments:
Seriously?! Who said you are going through a trial? Shannon was 29 when she married Charlie- you are way too young to be married- 23 psh! :)
You obviously already know those were ridiculous comments, but I'll second the opinion - they are ridiculous comments.
You ARE great :)
haha. You're great! We should get together and talk about how great it is to be single!
Oh cousin! Remember all the crap Tyrel got for all those years. I decided that I just have such great cousins that there just isn't anyone right now that is as awesome as them.
Besides, sometimes I wish that I hadn't gotten married when I did, that I had gone on a mission and taught English in China. I guess people always think the grass is greener on the other side.
Anyways, I am rambling. I love ya and totally think you are GREAT!!
Just as a side note. I do love my life and my family, I think my last post might not of sounded like that.
haha this post made me laugh. only in utah would you ever have people say things like that to you. the single years are the BEST! love you brittna!
Really?! Oh my...people who say that being single is a trial have got to have a few screws loose. Being single is great. Not ideal, but it can be great. I know a lot of awesome married people, but I know many many many more super awesome SINGLE people.
I wish LDS culture didn't give women such complexes. If your not married, if you can't cook, if your house isn't perfect . . . no matter your situation being LDS can be part of your challenge. I am just proud that you know who you are and you love who you are because that is what really matters.
I'm pretty much not going to comment on how great you are... but tell you I am in Utah now (probably for a while)
Should we get together?
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