Backhanded Compliments

I've always worried what other people think of me. Maybe it's a good thing, maybe it's a bad thing - but that's just who I am. So my current situation - living at home, still going to school even though I've graduated, still having debt looming over my head - is not as picture-perfect as I'd like. And yes - it bothers me! People's opinions shouldn't matter, in fact - people probably couldn't care less about what I'm doing, they're too busy worrying about their own problems and what "people" are thinking about them. But somehow I still feel like I'm being shoved into a category.

The hardest category to be put in is the "old maid" category. It comes with the territory of being LDS. The world revolves around marriage, it's extremely important. Young adults think about it, talk about it, read about it, are preached to about it, almost like it's an advanced dance move that you need to learn, and if you don't have rhythm and can't do it - then you're screwed.

At a family reunion last month someone told me that I would "gain so much through this trial that I'm going through, and that later I'll be able to help others who are going through the same thing." Ok. But why is being a single a trial? Am I being punished for something? Yes, being single isn't ideal and it can be hard, but being married is even harder. Also, when someone tells me that being single is a huge trial to go through, it makes me believe it. Then I start to feel sorry for myself, and that is the opposite of what I want.

Another family member recently (in a loving way) has been comparing me to albeit great, but old Mormon maids - Mary Ellen Edmunds, Kristen McCain Oaks, and Barbara Thompson. These are amazing women! But why, am I (a 23 year old girl) being compared with 50-60 year old women? How are we the same? Does having graduated single make me suddenly incapable of marriage? I should just scratch it off my list of things to do, and focus on my career and how many missions I'm going to go on. Stop trying to shove me into a category! I'm not an old maid! I'm 23!

I know I shouldn't worry - but I'm a human. A young, single, LDS human with problems (obviously). And there isn't really a purpose in writing these things down, except to say that it bothers me.

*also - please don't leave a comment saying not to worry because I am great and someday I will get married. Because I already know that. I'm not complaining about being single. But you can leave a comment saying that I'm great :)*

New Events

I have tons to do, so it seems like a perfect time to write on my blog.

This month has had lots of changes - I moved home! I started nursing school! I moved home!

Living back at home has it's advantages...and disadvantages. I love putting all my money in savings for my trip to Thailand next summer. But I hate not having any friends!

Suddenly not having friends down the hall or across the street is depressing! I loved my Provo bubble with everything you could ever need, my job, my school, social activities everywhere. With a river and a lake and mountains to hike!

But life moves on. And now I'm going to Salt Lake Community College. Today I decided that I definitely like BYU more than SLCC, but SLCC's not too bad.

Happiness is a choice! And I choose to be happy. Yesterday I went hiking, and even though it was a longer drive - it was muchprettier. And even though I'm down in my new room all alone, with nobody to talk to, I can get a lot of studying done, right?

Quickly - here is a shout out to all the best roommates and best friends I've ever had:

Carmen - my best friend of all time

Emily(Slemily)!! Julie(my first roommate)!! Katie-the-roommate-Reeser! Kate!! And Nicki-kiniki. So much fun in this apt - a prank war and late nights...and endless couch cover failures.

Rebekka! She was sent from Heavenly Father just for me, I know it. She's so great.

Rose House ladies - Ashlee (Ashcrack), Marlee (Marlay), Kristen (meine liebe), Skye (totes BFF), and Buffie. Moving into the Rose House was the best decision I ever made. Seriously - these women helped me be happy in a hard time and also (blessing or curse?) taught me how to shop properly and buy grown up clothes! Best memories - floating down the river in the rain, every night dance parties, Gilmore Girls, talking on the stairs, throwing things at people on the roof :)

And I could go on forever.

I need to make some friends!!

Attractive Men

If you know me, then you know that I have a lot of best friends. It's ok to have more than one best friend. Some people say that you can only have one or whatever, but that's just not realistic.

You need certain friends for certain times, and certain situations. For instance, I wouldn't take my best friend James to Costa Rica to have an adventure, and I wouldn't take my other best friend Vann to a broadway musical. I also wouldn't ask my best friend Ashlee to cut my hair - that job is specifically for best friend Mary.

I would never ask best friend Kellie for financial advice, that job is for Skye - but I would definitely take best friends Kellie or Maddie to a museum somewhere. I could go to France with anyone, but best friend Rebekka is a very good one to take, and best friends Chad and Carmen knows Spanish and can quote hot rod so they're good in multiple situations.

Roommate (and best friend) Sarah told me that I have very attractive boy best friends. I started thinking about this, and she's so right. Take a look:

Danny - we grew up together. We even have a picture of us holding hands at a birthday party when we were like 5. He looks the same, haha. Through Junior high, high school, BYU and beyond, we've been friends. Danny is a very wise man. And he is going to be somebody important someday. I love him a lot and yes, he is very attractive.

Aaron - have you ever met someone perfect? Because I have - his name is Aaron and he's amazing. He was my next door neighbor and I loved him from day one. Never have I known a more genuine, intelligent, or talented person! Aaron is the whole package, and I love being his friend. He is going to make one hot doctor.

Alexander - he is so fun. We met at EFY! He basically won every award, even the poetry award or something. He is a great gymnast and dancer. And he. is. hilarious. Also - Alex is so nice to everyone, something I definitely need to be taking lessons on. We took a class together at BYU and I couldn't sit by him because I laughed too much. He is definitely very attractive.

Jordan - we met freshman year and were instant kindred spirits. He is so attractive! How can you not love him? He is a great person and his personality is infectious, everybody wants to be Jordan's friend - life's a party with him around.

Christopher - we are new best friends. He was my ward crush! I told all my roommates. Turns out he was my home teacher and now we're basically BFF. Chris is very intelligent, and we can talk for a long time...about who knows what - he loves the stock market. He'll probably be super rich someday, and he loves Harry Potter - it's great. Super attractive man.

Chadley - (Chad) gets on my nerves sometimes...hahaha - but he is such a good friend. He always checks on me, and is willing to help me anytime. I love him - and he is very handsome. He wants to be a dad someday - what's more attractive than that?

James - bestest best friend. We met freshman year at BYU and were instant friends. I love James because we are the same - and he always always always makes me laugh. No matter what I will always have fun and be happy when I'm with James. Also - he's super cute, right?

Here's Vann - he's one attractive man. He's high adventure, and super smart. He's the best big brother I never had. He gives great advice, and he's tall and has huge arms so he can reach things - he's great to have around the house! I love Vann so much, we've been friends for a while and he's always willing to do anything to help me - he's so great. And also super good looking!

Like I said - I have infinity best friends. I love all my friends a lot. More friend posts to come soon. :)

Maturity

I hate getting older and having to "schedule" in hangouts with best friends. Or even phone calls. Schedules overlap and there's no time to be together! Vacations must be scheduled MONTHS in advance, and it takes weeks to get together with the ones you love most. Sigh.

Currently trying to squoosh in:

This girl
and these people

Sometimes

I got a new job - in the Shock/Trauma ICU in Murray. It's a very exciting place to be. Only downfall is that I have to work nights again...7pm-7am.

Haha...but sometimes I forget that it's 3:37 in the morning. I like that, but then I always remember - "I'm so tired!"

UUuugggghh

Some people have the stupidest facebook statuses. I can't take it anymore.

Costa

Costa Rica was awesome - I went with my best friend Vann. Basically we rented a truck and drove around and camped for a week. It was great. Many thanks to my mom who got us great flights (we had 8 flights total - they were all standby and we made every one - miracle!), and Katie and Cameron for putting us up for one night in NYC. You guys are the best (say that in a nacho libre accent please). Well here are some pictures - and the videos I took, I wish I could go back.